Where are You Giving Away Your Power?
Tony Robbins has a quote, and he says that entrepreneurship and probably just business in general is “20% strategy and 80% mindset”. I say it’s 30% but hey, what’s a 10%. So if you think about that — 20% strategy, 80% mindset — it’s the part that we hardly ever focus on and it’s really, oftentimes, the ‘why we do what we do’. We’re going to dive deep and look into the things that we commonly do that might be holding you back in your business.
I know we talk about fear a lot. Part of that is just acknowledging it, right? And we’ll talk about some other things – some other what we call coping mechanisms that we’ve learned since we were infants, since we were child. And ways that we think about things that actually might be hurting us in our business.
I told you we are always giving out value on how to attract clients, but this one is really working on our mindset. So what does that mean? The patterns, the way we think determine how we feel. And they determine on how we act in our business. So how we think, determines how we feel and how we act on our business, and many times that would— how we out ourselves out there, how we think about money. I know this, for me, is a huge block. And it’s something that I had to recently overcome. Because I know a lot of you might be undercharging for your services, maybe you are even giving some of those away.
So these coping mechanisms really helped us for survival. So once upon a time, we needed them. Right? We needed them; some of them are — like fear — something that we’re born with. But we are only born with two fears — born with the fear of falling and we’re born with the fear of loud noises, right? We’re not born with the fear of speaking on public or Facebook Lives! But I know that a lot of you guys have that fear. You know, we were born with the fear of falling, obviously that’s to protect us, and loud noises— so when you see a baby, if you make a big clap or something like that, it startles the baby, right? Or if you are putting the baby down so fast, the baby will throw their arms out, cause that’s to protect them from falling. So those are the two fears. Sometimes the sense of fear is healthy for us, right? So fight or flight.
And now we sometimes use fear and we let it get the best of us. It holds us back from doing some of the things that we need to do. So we are going to really dig in to what is holding you back.
So there are some decisions you need to make but you're afraid to make the wrong decision. Right, there's that fear.
CLARITY in your message and your branding. So this is really good because we’re having the strategy here with the right mindset. And people think branding is about the logo, colors, etc. But branding is so much more than that. Branding is the message that you send out and branding is such a key component in standing out against your competitors or your other colleagues in the business, and really distinguishing yourself.
Think about when you go to a store with a brand – how does it make you feel? Think about their overall messages, not just their taglines. Maybe their packaging, too? That’s all of branding. And branding can also be in a person. Beyoncé’s branding is on point. She is fierce and powerful and you know it, right? And you get a different feel on about Beyoncé and her brand. Maybe someone else has this soft, feminine, family influence that’s really about their brand.
So that is about your brand. The messages, the feelings that you are invoking. So we want to talk about clarity. Think of some places that you might be giving your power away. Maybe you are over-analyzing or you get stuck in perfectionism. Maybe you are redesigning your brand. Or you need to have a new website. Or you want to even do something so simple as put up, to advertise a special that you might be having coming up, like a Easter special or holiday special that you’re gonna have. Any reason to like drum up some business. And you get stuck in perfectionism, like you’re trying to make everything perfect, over-analyzing it. You get stuck by not making a choice because you are afraid you are making the wrong choice. Sometimes that holds us back, right?
Another scenario might be is that you could be stuck in the 'I don't know' stage. So when people say, “I don't know what to do,” sometimes what they're doing is they're just avoiding making a decision. They're afraid – right, fear? And they just don't make any decision. So there's no choice. And really, when there's no choice, a lot of times they say that's the safe answer. But really, that's not the safe answer because its preventing them from moving forward. And that is really giving your power away.
The third one in this area is questioning yourself. You question like “Who am I to do what I do?” Like, sometimes I'll say, “Who am I to teach this?” “Who am I to put my information out there?” and when we get stuck in that mindset, when we get wondering like “is it good enough?” type of thing, it kind of relates a little bit back to perfectionism. But this is more of “who am I”. This is coming from our insecurities. And this is sometimes playing small. And it's hard. It's a challenge for me sometimes as well. And sometimes we just are afraid to put our voice out there because we have that mindset of “who am I” and we start questioning ourselves. Give me a 4 in the comments if that's you. So if you think about these things, think about how are they holding you back. So what is it costing you? What would happen if you took action?
It could actually cost you financially, it could be costing you new clients, it could be costing you in growing your business because you're not getting the same visibility that the person down the street is getting. And you've heard me say this: sometimes visibility trumps ability. So visibility beats ability. And the person down the street might be less skilled than you but they have put themselves out there. So if you took that action, this is really gonna be your overall challenge. Start to think. You know it's funny because we have these coping mechanisms because they serve us in some ways, right? People will say, “How is perfectionism bad?” Well, you know, crossing your T's and dotting your eyes is fantastic. I also love to have a polished product. But sometimes we get so caught up and everything has to be perfect. And it will never be perfect. You will frequently hear me mess up on a podcast or a Facebook Live... see, right there. I just have this big pimple that's coming in right there. I mean, I could've said, “Oh, I don't wanna go on camera because I have a huge zit coming in on my face!” I mean, seriously. These are things-- that could have been in my mind like “Oh I don't want people to see this!”
So if you're starting to go past those mindset, concerns, and start taking action, it could help you start growing in your business for sure. And start attracting new clients. I wanted to tell you that by not speaking out, by saying “who am I” or waiting until it's perfect, you are not having a voice. If you're not putting yourself out there, you are not having a voice in your business. And that is not the fullest expression of yourself. I get a little woo-woo sometimes because I talk about “what were you put on this Earth to do?” and I think we were all put here to do something and definitely with permanent cosmetics and microblading, we are helping so many women – and men – but I like to focus on the women. We're helping so many women feel beautiful again. Get time back in their schedule. Feel empowered, feel confident!
So by you, not stepping in to your message and putting yourself out there and having a voice, you are not able to serve those women. So you have to step out in your fullest expression! And I'm gonna karate chop those mindset blocks! So here's another area of not taking action.
Alright, so the next thing is about taking action. I think we could say we're really taking action too, but this is really about taking action in a mindset thing. There are some times we are not focusing enough on the marketing and the strategies in our business. You sometimes think that the services will sell themselves. I know we think like, “if I can just master that hair stroke pattern” or “if I can just master that smoky eyeliner, then these services will services will sell themselves.” Yup? You think like you're like “okay, if I could just do that...” instead of really looking for ways and there's so many simple ways you don't need to spend a fortune! There are so many ways to really market yourself.
Another one is what I call the Spray and Pray method. This is when you start doing things everywhere. You have a little bit of Instagram, you have a little bit of Facebook, a little bit if Pinterest, Twitter, maybe you go to a network meeting once every six months. It's kind of a little a bit everywhere. It's spray and pray and hope something will work. You're not kinda focused. You're taking action, but it's just a little bit of everything everywhere.
The next one is being scared. Being scared to express your personality for fear of being judged. And this could be fear of being judged by your family. It could be fear of being judged by your peers, your colleagues, like “Oh, what is she doing? What does she think she is?” You know, that type of thing which is just ridiculous. Fear of just being judged by your clients, like you think that they might think you don't know what you're talking about. This is just being scared to express your personality. People think, “I'm afraid to be judged for doing that.” I'm saying you only do that if that's true to you. Because when you are you, you are going to attract that client that is similar to that and likes that. So if you're scared of being judged and fear of putting yourself out there in your fullest expression of yourself. Like really what is you? “I like pink, cheesy, girly things. I like that. And that's okay.” That might not be you, you figure out, you do you.
Another one is mental block and sometimes its believing that we cannot learn technology. This is huge because a lot of times people get caught up on this one. And I wanna say, it does take some time but I have one word for you, and it is YOUTUBE! And not that you need to do Youtube videos, but that we are in the information society, so you can just Google it and pretty much there is a Youtube video for almost everything. You can find a video on how to do a Facebook Live. You can find a video on how to email your clients or how to use Messenger in your business. I think that in today's time, 2018, we are living in a world that is technology-based. Video is going to be 90% of the consumed content in the year 2019, so just next year! And so if you are not learning this stuff, you don't have to be a tech wizard, I'm not saying you have to have a degree in this. Just keeping up with it and putting yourself out there, than you are going to be left behind. And I don't want to see you get left behind. I want to see your business grow and I want to see you uplevel. Because just a little bit of that technology will help you so that you do not become unknown. And so you just need to keep up.
We have all those things. Maybe you're not focusing on it, and so here's what I want to say. Not focusing on the marketing. And sometimes we have a little angel and a little devil on our shoulders. Really, there is an expression and it says something like “Which dog will you feed? Will you feed the dog of doubt and fear or will you feed the dog of belief and action?”
You know, we say it over and over again and all, but what if they think that I don't sound good? Or what if I don't look right, or what if I make a mistake? And that keeps feeding that. All those what ifs keep feeding that thought pattern. And then thoughts become beliefs, and beliefs become our actions! You're not putting yourself forward. And that's where we start playing small, right? And it doesn't serve anyone for you to play small. Your success does not diminish someone else's success. And someone else's success does not diminish your success. And there's a great quote, it's by Mary Anna Williamson. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant. Gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so others won't feel insecure around you. And we are meant to shine as children do. We are born to make manifest to glory of God that is within us, and it's not just in some of us – it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, we liberate others.” That was a lot, that was a mouthful. I love this quote so much. I'm overcome with emotions and I start tearing up. Because I realized like everybody, we all have insecurities. But I've been playing small, and it hits me. And I realized, by not letting my light shine, I’m holding back. And by letting my light shine, I'm giving others the permission to let their light shine. Yeah, I know it's crazy, it touched me so much.
Alright, some other things I just wanna tell you guys. Sometimes we give away our power to clients. And that's because we want to be super giving, but we give a little bit. We don't set clear boundaries. I'm really bad at this one as well. Something I'm working on. I let clients text me sometimes, and raising enough when I do give out my number. I don't know why they don't respect that. And then they start texting me in the middle of the night, or on a Sunday when I'm with my family -- there's no boundaries. So that is another way that we give away our power. And that is another mindset issue of not just having the clear boundaries. And that really comes from the mindset is just feeling that that if I'm honest with myself, I can say to you that that comes from me feeling that I'm not enough.So that is another area where I feel like I'm not enough so I go overboard and try to give them. And a lot of times they don't even appreciate it, right? They start to expect it, 'cause I haven't made those clear boundaries which is crazy. And even still, they are not satisfied.
And another way that we have our mindset blocks is money. And that's by undercharging and undervaluing your services. And this is where people get caught up in. If you look at the big brands like Apple, they did not come out and say, “What will the market pay for a cellphone?” They said, “We're gonna create a superior product.” and this is really part of Apple's super amazing with their branding because really, they create an experience. People continue to buy their product even if it's not the best product because of the experience. About what that says about them when they're holding an iPad, that type of thing. And that kinda goes back to branding. You can think, if you price your products a little bit higher, it does not mean-- you can make yourself the luxury, permanent makeup. You could totally do that. And there will be clients that will be attracted to that. So don't be afraid to increase your prices. Do not be afraid to value yourself and your services a bit more.
So I had to do this. I did this slowly with my prices, because I was afraid of the backlash. “What would they say...” and “What if I lose some clients?” Listen. When you start to do it, and you really feel valued. If you are feeling undervalued for your service, it's not gonna last long. You are gonna feel burnt out and it's not a good way to go. We do make a good living at what we do, and sometimes we feel the need to price our prices where anyone can afford it. And that is not realistic, and also you need to give. When people do not have any what I call “skin in the game”, if they haven't committed with their credit card, they actually value something that they had to pay a little bit more for. We all do that. When you undervalue your services, it will come back to hurt you. And you know I always say, you don't want to be known as the cheapest person in town. That is not what you want to be known for. You could have competitive prices but you don’t want to be known as the cheapest person in town. So that's another way of undervaluing ourselves. Not having your prices where they need to be.
Every year I pick a phrase that I continue to say. My theme last year was “higher standards”. So that really helped me raise my prices. That helped me set boundaries with my clients. Sometimes we need these little things. So this year, my theme is “imperfect action”. I'm showing up because I'm taking imperfect actions and know that it will just get better each time. And imperfect action beats perfect intention. You can have great intentions all day long, but if you do not take action, it goes nowhere, right? So you gonna have perfect intention but imperfect action will beat it! So just take those steps: action conquers fear. That is the best way to do something. You just have to step forward and do it anyways. You have to face the fear, and just do it.
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